Depression

[Johnrch8]

I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression. I had two months off work. After pressure from my manager I returned to work. Which the manager immediately issued me with a stage 1. Even though I’m covered under the disability act on the ohs report. Anyway I lasted three days, during that time management put pressure on me to contact dvla. Who then said I shouldn’t be driving any vehicle for three months while they do their investigation. Which has made my depression spiral out of control. I’m now on month two of my sickness. Every week I have to ring the manager. In those conversations he is basically putting pressure on me to return. Or I get comments from him “I suppose you won’t return when your sick note runs out.” “OHS report doesn’t really say much” or I get bombarded with what I feel is an interrogation regarding my illness. He even criticised my doctor. Each conversation I have with him results in me having to go bed afterwards as he is making me feel worse. Every time I’m starting to feel better my manager makes me feel worse. Royal Mail is hindering my recovery. The new one now is he wants me to have a face to face meeting with him. I live an hours drive from my work. I can’t drive long distances due to my concentration levels being very good due to my depression. I also get very exhausted easily now. I’m not sure wether I’m actually going to be coming back with this. I have what they call passive suicidal thoughts.

[Johnrch8]

I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression. I had two months off work. After pressure from my manager I returned to work. Which the manager immediately issued me with a stage 1. Even though I’m covered under the disability act on the ohs report. Anyway I lasted three days, during that time management put pressure on me to contact dvla. Who then said I shouldn’t be driving any vehicle for three months while they do their investigation. Which has made my depression spiral out of control. I’m now on month two of my sickness. Every week I have to ring the manager. In those conversations he is basically putting pressure on me to return. Or I get comments from him “I suppose you won’t return when your sick note runs out.” “OHS report doesn’t really say much” or I get bombarded with what I feel is an interrogation regarding my illness. He even criticised my doctor. Each conversation I have with him results in me having to go bed afterwards as he is making me feel worse. Every time I’m starting to feel better my manager makes me feel worse. Royal Mail is hindering my recovery. The new one now is he wants me to have a face to face meeting with him. I live an hours drive from my work. I can’t drive long distances due to my concentration levels being very good due to my depression. I also get very exhausted easily now. I’m not sure wether I’m actually going to be coming back with this. I have what they call passive suicidal thoughts. The doctor has once my medication from 50mg sertraline to 100mg.

[Basildon Bond]

“The definition of ‘insanity’ is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." – (not originally made up by Albert Einstein but potentially quoted by him – the original source is unknown).

A very powerful phrase to remember in life. Worth reading a few times over and not forgetting it when you need it most.

If you would like my two cents advice (from someone that’s been there)… I think you have to figure out why you are depressed and look to change something. Sounds naff right? That's it in a nutshell.

I’d start with sleep habits, any vices (alcohol, drugs, smoking, vaping, caffeine, gambling, etc.), and what you eat and drink (unknown, mild, and chronic (you’ve lived with it for a long time and don’t even notice) food allergies). All boring stuff and with no “quick fix”. Tidy the house, the shed, the garden too. Tidy things up externally while working to tidy yourself up internally. Then keep things tidy.

Plus you have to know yourself better. If someone twisted you arm on which personality type you are...which “box” do you best fit? Or can you only narrow down to a few? See this for a start: https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-per ... ity-types/

This could be a very long post. However, to keep things short(er) “passive suicidal ideation” is daydreaming about dying. One thing I do believe in is that thoughts like this are not “I want to end my life” but rather “I’m so bloody fed up of my life as it is right now and I want it to stop”.

Don’t stop your life – you only get one. Stop how you live it. Change something. Change several things. Know who you are; look at your health; be kind to yourself; be kind to others.

Unfortunately no one locally is going to stop you in the street or jump out of a bush as you walk along and fix all your problems – no one knows your problems but you. No one knows what needs changing – maybe not even you at this point.

We all have a capacity to endure hardship on any given day. Over the years I’ve stubbed my toe more than once. I can remember often rubbing it, walking it off, and shaking my head thinking “slow down” – all positive with advice on how to avoid it. However, once when I did it getting out of bed I remember picking up the alarm clock and smashing it against the leg of the bed – not very positive and I all it got me was the need to clean it up, scratches on the wooden leg, and a trip to Argos for a new clock.

I’ve learnt that being destructive doesn’t get me very far – I probably take two steps backwards. I have to be ready to not react to the negative things. You have to spot immediately the negative thoughts creeping in. Tidy the house again!

If you follow a typical doctor’s advice you’ll either get CBT (talk yourself better - cognitive behavioural therapy) or antidepressants. CBT may work for some but if you don’t really know yourself (personality) you could be talking in circles for months. As for antidepressants... I remember reading the leaflet inside the packet I got and it had “suicidal thoughts” listed under the side effects – wonderful! Personally I’d get your doctor to prescribe 50mg of Tramadol one a day for two weeks and review your mood.

Best of luck.

[crazyshrew]

The only thing I can say that may be of any help is that you are entitled to have another manager handle your absence and be your point of contact while you are off.

I would strongly suggest you make this request by text or email... firstly it's often easier in writing to get what you want to say said without getting flustered. And secondly you have proof that you made the request.

An slightly more independent person may be less problematic for you. It might be possible to arrange a manager located closer to you so should you feel up to a face to face, there's one less obstacle in your way to getting back on your feet.


Clinical depression is a proper C U next Tuesday. My awful manager (sadly I'm in a single manager office) is also contributing big time to a serious flare up of a life long illness.
I successfully bypass him as much as I possibly can, and if I absolutely have to tell or ask him anything it's always in writing

[sindba]

I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression. I had two months off work. After pressure from my manager I returned to work. Which the manager immediately issued me with a stage 1. Even though I’m covered under the disability act on the ohs report. Anyway I lasted three days, during that time management put pressure on me to contact dvla. Who then said I shouldn’t be driving any vehicle for three months while they do their investigation. Which has made my depression spiral out of control. I’m now on month two of my sickness. Every week I have to ring the manager. In those conversations he is basically putting pressure on me to return. Or I get comments from him “I suppose you won’t return when your sick note runs out.” “OHS report doesn’t really say much” or I get bombarded with what I feel is an interrogation regarding my illness. He even criticised my doctor. Each conversation I have with him results in me having to go bed afterwards as he is making me feel worse. Every time I’m starting to feel better my manager makes me feel worse. Royal Mail is hindering my recovery. The new one now is he wants me to have a face to face meeting with him. I live an hours drive from my work. I can’t drive long distances due to my concentration levels being very good due to my depression. I also get very exhausted easily now. I’m not sure wether I’m actually going to be coming back with this. I have what they call passive suicidal thoughts.

Try to push your doctor for professional help. It's difficult, as mental health services have been decimated over the last 15 years, but there is help out there.

Talk to friends and family, don't bottle up.

Most of all, put yourself first. It's just a job - your health is more important.

If it gets too much please please remember the Samiritans are there to help. Call free on 116123 or email jo@samaritans.org

[hawkeye622]

“The definition of ‘insanity’ is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." – (not originally made up by Albert Einstein but potentially quoted by him – the original source is unknown).

A very powerful phrase to remember in life. Worth reading a few times over and not forgetting it when you need it most.

If you would like my two cents advice (from someone that’s been there)… I think you have to figure out why you are depressed and look to change something. Sounds naff right? That's it in a nutshell.

I’d start with sleep habits, any vices (alcohol, drugs, smoking, vaping, caffeine, gambling, etc.), and what you eat and drink (unknown, mild, and chronic (you’ve lived with it for a long time and don’t even notice) food allergies). All boring stuff and with no “quick fix”. Tidy the house, the shed, the garden too. Tidy things up externally while working to tidy yourself up internally. Then keep things tidy.

Plus you have to know yourself better. If someone twisted you arm on which personality type you are...which “box” do you best fit? Or can you only narrow down to a few? See this for a start: https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-per ... ity-types/

This could be a very long post. However, to keep things short(er) “passive suicidal ideation” is daydreaming about dying. One thing I do believe in is that thoughts like this are not “I want to end my life” but rather “I’m so bloody fed up of my life as it is right I want it to stop”.

Don’t stop your life – you only get one. Stop how you live it. Change something. Change several things. Know who you are; look at your health; be kind to yourself; be kind to others.

Unfortunately no one locally is going to stop you in the street or jump out of a bush as you walk along and fix all your problems – no one knows you problems but you. No one knows what needs changing – maybe not even you at this point.

We all have a capacity to endure hardship on any given day. Over the years I’ve stubbed my toe more than once. I can remember often rubbing it, walking it off, and shaking my head thinking “slow down” – all positive with advice on how to avoid it. However, once when I did it getting out of bed I remember picking up the alarm clock and smashing it against the leg of the bed – not very positive and I all it got me was the need to clean it up, scratches on the wooden leg, and a trip to Argos for a new clock.

I’ve learnt that being destructive doesn’t get me very far – I probably take two steps backwards. I have to be ready to not react to the negative things. You have to spot immediately the negative thoughts creeping it. Tidy the house again!

If you follow a typical doctor’s advice you’ll either get CBT (talk yourself better - cognitive behavioural therapy) or antidepressants. CBT may work for some but if you don’t really know yourself (personality) you could be talking in circles for months. As for antidepressants... I remember reading the leaflet inside the packet I got and it had “ suicidal thoughts” listed under the side effects – wonderful! Personally I’d get your doctor to prescribe 50mg of Tramadol one a day for two weeks and review your mood.

Best of luck.

What a fantastic reply

[Haditup]

Sounds like your line manager is a right T&#T!
Try and detach your self from their insensitive crass comments (maybe putting grievance in will put a stop to them).
Also DO NOT turn down the Face2Face meeting they will stop your pay ,ask them to visit your house or somewhere which is more suited for YOU.
Most importantly, is that you realise that the cycle of depression is a temporary state and that you are not alone.
Help is at hand through your GP,Samaritans and it’s good that you are posting your issue in this forum.

Check out Wim Hof breathing method.
Vitamin D is important which most people lack.
Cardio exercise daily ,jog ,cycle etc
Meditation /breath work
Limit Caffeine
Limit Alcohol

All the best

[Clappedoutpostie]

Audio record all correspondence with him for evidence. You say you have told the dvla, not sure why you have done that but it obviously means you can’t travel for a meeting.

[max49]

My sympathy with you, could I suggest that any meeting that you have with RM that you take a friend along to support you and be a witness as to how you are treated. Wishing you all the best, take care.