Stupidest complaint you've received?

[ted_e_bear]

Can you stop urinating against my wall. f***ing Sorry.

A few years back we had an official complaint, one of the lads got caught having a piss in someone's pond.

[HTPostman]

My top 3:

Door fly’s open after I’ve posted a radio times through, the guy said it hit his dog on the head and he’ll knock my head off.

Knock on the van window as I’m having my break. Some guy waving a yellow DHL slip. He was polite and everything but genuinely didn’t seem to believe me when I said we don’t work together, no I don’t have the DHL drivers number and no I can’t drive around looking for him.

Note on door: I’m out and can’t wait in all day for you to get here. All that’s in the parcel is dishwasher tablets. So what I want you to do is open the parcel yourself, and post the tablets through the letterbox.


Bonus one, from a box ticking manager, it’s one of those businesses that occasionally receives A4 envelopes with loads of invoices in which bounce around and make small tears on the envelope:

Manager: Joe Bloggs business Ltd says you’ve been opening their mail. What do you have to say about it?
Me: I’ve no idea what they are on about.
Manager: they say it’s been going on for 3 months.
Me: I only started at Royal Mail last week.
Manager: Right, but you know you shouldn’t be opening mail.
Me: I’m not. I started last week. I’ve delivered there once and it was a bunch of flowers.
Manager: But they say their mail has been opened.
Me: *sighs* you’re not listening to me are you?
Manager: I need you to confirm you won’t open their mail.

[heapsy]

Not a complaint about anyone from our office, but a neighbouring office. A driver dumps a bag of mail outside an office door. The customer complains. The next day the same driver gets to the same place. He opens the bag of mail and empties it. Feeds the bag through the letter box, keeping hold of the neck of the bag. Feeds the mail into the bag and then drops it through. The customer rang up asking how they got in the office.

[k979aaa]

Why is my post late
Ask simon
oh he's the guy that runs RM apparently
And is he the guy who spaft £37 billion up the wall in test and trace
When will my post be delivered on time?
When this twat and his pilocks are gone and that includes the government,

[thebigone]

My mail is damp buts it’s been raining for 2 days now

[Dexydog]

Leaves packet in one of those big plastic garden furniture boxes.
Picture taken.
Card posted, smiley face for good measure.
Would have left with neighbour, who is lovely, but car not in drive.
Complaint is "that's not our furniture box, we don't even have a furniture box".
Gaffer asks me 3 times are you sure they have a furniture box?
Goes out, takes pic of furniture box on phone.
Gaffer goes, "fair enough, but scan is showing in next street"
"So the PDA isn't accurate, that's their furniture box, in their garden" says I.
Next day, note on door- "please leave any packages in furniture box in garden".
Writes out 739, with a note on bottom saying I can't leave a packet in a furniture box that doesn't exist.
Complaint, quizzed by same manager, why didn't you leave packet in furniture box as requested?
I ask gaffer "You're actually serious, aren't you?".
The look on his face told me he actually was serious.
I put a smiley face on all their p739's now.
Ears and everything if the neighbours car is in the drive.
Office is miles away, shame that.

[postieblueshirt]

Leaves packet in one of those big plastic garden furniture boxes.
Picture taken.
Card posted, smiley face for good measure.
Would have left with neighbour, who is lovely, but car not in drive.
Complaint is "that's not our furniture box, we don't even have a furniture box".
Gaffer asks me 3 times are you sure they have a furniture box?
Goes out, takes pic of furniture box on phone.
Gaffer goes, "fair enough, but scan is showing in next street"
"So the PDA isn't accurate, that's their furniture box, in their garden" says I.
Next day, note on door- "please leave any packages in furniture box in garden".
Writes out 739, with a note on bottom saying I can't leave a packet in a furniture box that doesn't exist.
Complaint, quizzed by same manager, why didn't you leave packet in furniture box as requested?
I ask gaffer "You're actually serious, aren't you?".
The look on his face told me he actually was serious.
I put a smiley face on all their p739's now.
Ears and everything if the neighbours car is in the drive.
Office is miles away, shame that.

So your manager tried to discipline you for not following a note on a door? We were always told notes on a door don't mean anything as anyone could have wrote that lol this company is mental.

[Dexydog]

The funniest part was he didn't realise the irony of what he was saying.
The first complaint was literally 2 days before.
I asked him if he had forgotten we had the conversation about the customer saying they didn't have a box, and the subsequent picture I sent him of said box.
You can't fix stupid

[Ad_bee]

Not so much a complaint but, a householder from neibouring delivery told me our workmate wouldn't delivery because dog.

Householder said he couldn't believe it and thought our workmate was overly dramatic since dog is very nice, calm and peaceful.

Householder comes back home and tries experiment, rattles the letterbox.

Householder said he was amazed at the bundle of malevelance, anger, hatred and primeval rage that raced through to the front garden....in the shape of his dog.

Dog amazed that its the householder its attacking and stops PDQ.....butter wouldn't melt all of a sudden.

Dog very embarrassed.

Householder very embarrassed.

Complaint upheld.

[kazardaimenu]

Can you stop delivering these charity bags?! - We don’t have anything to do with those - Well what should I do with them I don’t want to bin them - Just bin them.

[postieblueshirt]

Not so much a complaint but, a householder from neibouring delivery told me our workmate wouldn't delivery because dog.

Householder said he couldn't believe it and thought our workmate was overly dramatic since dog is very nice, calm and peaceful.

Householder comes back home and tries experiment, rattles the letterbox.

Householder said he was amazed at the bundle of malevelance, anger, hatred and primeval rage that raced through to the front garden....in the shape of his dog.

Dog amazed that its the householder its attacking and stops PDQ.....butter wouldn't melt all of a sudden.

Dog very embarrassed.

Householder very embarrassed.

Complaint upheld.

We had a similar incident a woman in her garden telling one of our guys my dog does not bite so as he was talking to her he got closer to the fence dog went mad and bit the owner on the leg.

[dennyboycox]

your late

[Cedar_Room]

When I first started,quite possibly my second week - an old fella,retired solicitor type went absolutely bananas at me because he was getting his mail late. Apparently the duty holder did the walk the opposite way round to the way the frame ran & HRH was used to getting his delivery around 7.30am/8am rather than approaching midday.

I often wonder how he copes nowadays?

[combo_king]

Had a good 1 not long ago… left a track in a garden storage box.. picture and 739 safe place location posted and off on my merry way.. next morning complaint saying customer hasn’t got it.. gave them a chap to see what was up.. guy comes storming up behind his wife ‘we haven’t got it where is it’ says in your garden storage box.. ‘that’s not ours’… asked politely as possible if they box in there back garden isn’t there’s… ‘oh that one’ guy goes to check and there it is… got an apology And I walked away fairly bewildered at the whole situation haha

[Wolf91]

Not so much a complaint but, a householder from neibouring delivery told me our workmate wouldn't delivery because dog.

Householder said he couldn't believe it and thought our workmate was overly dramatic since dog is very nice, calm and peaceful.

Householder comes back home and tries experiment, rattles the letterbox.

Householder said he was amazed at the bundle of malevelance, anger, hatred and primeval rage that raced through to the front garden....in the shape of his dog.

Dog amazed that its the householder its attacking and stops PDQ.....butter wouldn't melt all of a sudden.

Dog very embarrassed.

Householder very embarrassed.

Complaint upheld.

We had a similar incident a woman in her garden telling one of our guys my dog does not bite so as he was talking to her he got closer to the fence dog went mad and bit the owner on the leg.

I’ve had them tell me before “he doesn’t bite” as he’s actually biting me on the ankle.
It’s like ….yeah.
Don’t trust ‘em