Plain English would've been nice...

[billyhayes]

What follows is probably some of the worst bullshit company-speak I have ever seen in my life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Organisational Review: Building a Sustainable & Successful Future

Dear Colleague,

This is the first of regular emails that I will send you as and when there
is new information to share. The Organisational Review intranet site is
now live and you will always be able to find the latest available
information here. Org Review 2010

Last week our key activity was the communication of the Organisational
Review through briefings by managers supported by an email communication
that was sent to colleagues on Wednesday. The feedback we’ve had so far
has been largely positive, with comments from many of you acknowledging
that things aren't working as well as they could, and that we need to
change.

We are now able to share some more detail around the stages we will go
through over the next 6 months and the broad time scales.

Survey: Review the Organisational Design

June - July
The period from now through to September will be focused on reviewing the
current organisational design we have in place to understand its strengths
and weaknesses. This will be achieved through a mixture of activities that
will include desk based data analysis and review, interviews (across the
organisation, and down through areas of accountability), workshops and best
practice benchmarking.

Design: Organisational structure defined & agreed

July - September
Once we have a clear understanding of our current position, work will
commence on developing the blueprint for our new organisational design.
This will include work to agree our design principles, governance
structures, key roles and skills requirements and key processes. This
phase will be followed by more detailed activity to develop and define how
we work, metrics, governance and the associated Organisational Design. The
preference exercise will commence at the end of this phase.

Build: Implementing the plan

September - December
Once we have defined and agreed the organisational structure, we will begin
to implement the changes. At this point the assessment & recruitment
processes will commence and we will also need to ensure we are
operationally ready for the introduction of the new structure.

Review:

December - March
While implementing the new structure, the Organisational Review Programme
will be completing work to ensure that we establish the right culture
within the organisation to effectively engage colleague in the delivery of
our future objectives. Separately, support will be provided for those
colleagues who will not be part of the structure going forward. We will
also be completing a review to capture learning for future change.

Should you have any questions or feedback, please email us at
org.review@postoffice.co.uk

Thank you

Debbie Moore
HR Director
Post Office Limited

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If anyone out there can interpret what this is NOT telling us please feel free.

The bits that caught my eye were:

July - September
"The preference exercise will commence at the end of this phase."

and...

"support will be provided for those colleagues who will not be part of the structure going forward"

Who is this referring to? Managers, staff, the fu#king cleaner!!?? FFS!

Or it is the non-job cull I have mentioned before to do with the sales teams?

[BELIAL]

As soon as some business school s**t licker says "going forward" or "get real" you know they are looking to shaft you big time, fact of life

[Lounge Lizard]

I'm sure that they write in such a convoluted way so that nobody bothers to read beyond the first sentence and then nobody disagrees with it.

[chunk]

I'm sure that they write in such a convoluted way so that nobody bothers to read beyond the first sentence and then nobody disagrees with it.

I speak gobbledygook, waffle,
verbalese and a smattering of techno-babble but i find this document hard work.

Is it a dialect of Texas ?

[billyhayes]

I've just been informed that IT IS to do with the sales teams.

1/2 will be gone by the end of the year.

For shame.

[subbie]

I've done this kind of thing myself in another life, it means........we don't need as many staff as we used to, if we do things differently, use technology more efficiently, employ different working practices, etc, we can bin loads of staff.

Sorry to be blunt.

Is it any consolation that the losses will probably be in middle management?

Subbie

[PostalOfficer]

I hate this sort of meaningless drivel. Always suspect they are trying to inflate their own importance.

I once submitted an article about an electronic circuit I had thought up to an electronics club I was in for the newsletter. Thought I had done quite a nice job. The editor was a professional engineer and sent my notes back with what seemed like 20% of the words crossed out. Do you know what? It lost none of the meaning and was more readable.

Similarly I think he could have crossed out 90% of the above and not lost any of the meaning!

[MinisterofCucumber]

Our current POL managers are shitting themselves.

I looked at the Organisational Review site on the intranet yesterday. Management is facing restructuring and this is partly because of feedback from Have Your Say. The conclusion was that although the cost cutting targets have been met, staff were now completely disengaged. The aim of the review is to put in a leaner management structure and get rid of rogue and incompetent managers. Greedy individuals that have broken policies to cut costs and generate larger bonuses for themselves face the chop.

There is mention of assessments for managers and I shall be writing to suggest that every single manager should take a psychometric verbal reasoning test. This test is a measure of comprehension. You have to read a passage and then answer questions on it before going on to more difficult passages. It is the ideal test for measuring whether managers can understand written policies.

Our union could also benefit from using testing to identify the intellectually weak reps and give them some proper education to increase their comprehension skills.

Psychometric testing is essential for any organisation serious about changing from a 'crony' based system to a merit based one.

[The BFO]

I’ve been hearing all this sort of talk for years; ‘right people in the right places’, ‘matching skills to jobs’, ‘managers being accountable for Have Your Say results’.

I’ll believe it when I see it. And what happens to those who ‘lose’ their jobs? They are put on gardening leave or found ‘project work’.

Do me a favour…

[BELIAL]

I’ve been hearing all this sort of talk for years; ‘right people in the right places’, ‘matching skills to jobs’, ‘managers being accountable for Have Your Say results’.

I’ll believe it when I see it. And what happens to those who ‘lose’ their jobs? They are put on gardening leave or found ‘project work’.

Do me a favour…

Yep , all business babble from the bullshit baffles brains brigade, beat that beautiful bit of alliteration you bungling bureaucractic boss eyed blowflies Tony and Derek

[mr bean]

In Plain English, and reading between the lines this will create jobs for managers in offices to push more paper around an awful lot to justify their positions. I also fully endorse your previous correspondences it could have been said in one paragraph.

[The BFO]

I liked this, received recently:

'We have proved in the past, we are much better than this-so please redouble your efforts this afternoon, particularly those branches that have yet to trouble the scorers. Please look at your own branch activity levels and consider manager observed power bursts to raise the focus.'

[Mr Love Pants]

I liked this, received recently:

'We have proved in the past, we are much better than this-so please redouble your efforts this afternoon, particularly those branches that have yet to trouble the scorers. Please look at your own branch activity levels and consider manager observed power bursts to raise the focus.'

Now that is what I call bollock speak.

[chunk]

The period from now through to September will be focused on reviewing the
current organizational design we have in place to understand its strengths
and weaknesses. This will be achieved through a mixture of activities that
will include desk based data analysis and review, interviews (across the
organization, and down through areas of accountability), workshops and best
practice benchmarking.


In English:
We need to find whats working, not working , analyzing the data, interviewing and targeting who's responsible.
and making everybody do the same.(best practice).

its all about top managers reminding everybody below them that their being scrutinized.