selling excuses from customers not wanting something

[simjan]

Just thought this was a great excuse, asked a bloke yesterday about credit card, he said he couldn't have one as his wife is already a black belt in shopping!
Anymore funny ones.

[billyhayes]

Can't think of any off hand, though I have heard some right corkers!

While we are on it though, when the old dears say no to life insurance, I make sure the sales manager is within ear shot and then I keep offering them motorbike insurance as well.
Hitting back at every objection with a great reason why they should get it;
80 years plus? Never to young to start!
Haven't got a bike? At these prices you'll want to go and get one now!

I get the rest of the counter cracking up and any customers who can hear, (the old dear included), as well.

Shows it up as the farce that it is.

The sales manager gives a forced s**t-eating grin and buggers off.

[monica]

we had a life day a couple of weeks ago and we had two managers and four of thier managers all stood behind us. i asked one man about life and he said he had no one to leave any money to and he wouldnt be interested in anything we had. not even house insurance? live in a caravan! car insurance? got a bike! bike insurance? push bike! savings? no money to replace holey y fronts luv! homephone? mobile only! top up? only put a fiver on every six months but well done luv i'l be back to see you in november. wish there were more like him on these focus days

[saunders265]

I don’t know any funny stories, but relate this tale as an example to our younger readers of BAD customer service:

The scene: Saturday morning, end of month, at a Crown Office situated near an Air Force Base somewhere in southern England – reasons connected with national security prevent me from saying exactly where.

Posh Git: I’d like to purchase excise duty for my motor vehicle please.
Clerk: Certainly, do you have your documents sir?
Posh Git: What documents?
Clerk: Well, I see you have a reminder; I also need to see your Certificate of Insurance please.
Posh Git: Oh, that’s really quite absurd. I’m sure that’s not really necessary.
Clerk: I’m afraid it is sir.
Posh Git: Well I don’t have it with me.
Clerk: Well I’m sorry, but in that case I am unable to issue a licence - sir.
Posh Git: Now look here, do you know who I am, I fly a Harrier Jump Jet out of *****ton you know.
Clerk: Well you’d better use that for the weekend then hadn’t you sir?

[TrueBlueTerrier]

I don’t know any funny stories, but relate this tale as an example to our younger readers of BAD customer service:

The scene: Saturday morning, end of month, at a Crown Office situated near an Air Force Base somewhere in southern England – reasons connected with national security prevent me from saying exactly where.

Posh Git: I’d like to purchase excise duty for my motor vehicle please.
Clerk: Certainly, do you have your documents sir?
Posh Git: What documents?
Clerk: Well, I see you have a reminder; I also need to see your Certificate of Insurance please.
Posh Git: Oh, that’s really quite absurd. I’m sure that’s not really necessary.
Clerk: I’m afraid it is sir.
Posh Git: Well I don’t have it with me.
Clerk: Well I’m sorry, but in that case I am unable to issue a licence - sir.
Posh Git: Now look here, do you know who I am, I fly a Harrier Jump Jet out of *****ton you know.
Clerk: Well you’d better use that for the weekend then hadn’t you sir?

as an ex RAF serviceman - - I think he was all my COs