Office banter ... Posties vs Managers

[Carnoustie]

Inspired by IWW Fellow Worker's post in another thread, I thought it would be amusing to read examples of managers coming off worst in verbal exchanges with quick-witted posties.

Last year, we were all brassed off by never getting answers to questions raised at WTLL sessions. Gradually, more and more of us just stopped taking any active part in the sessions, just turning up, signing the sheet and sitting there with bored expressions.

So one of the managers, after about 10 minutes of near-silence says, "Come on, guys, you must have some issues you want to discuss. What about the First Line Fix budget for this year ? How would you like to see that spent ?"

"It's already been spent on the new carpets" says my mate

"New carpets?" says our puzzled guvnor

"Yeah, to replace the ones that are bent out of shape from all the stuff that's been swept under them"

[POSTMAN]

That one is quality.
We don't have banter with them,just a lot of chuffin rows

[lovejoy]

I'm late everyday (without fail)

Last week shift Manager (showing off in front of his piers and about 40 staff) said

'you should have been here 30minutes ago'

I replied

'why what happened'

After cheers from members a red faced manager left the floor

[L Tommo]

He dont come on ere as he, and he would say this.. He dont know the front end of a PC from the back.. and cant use em... Shame as he is one funny man...

Well he is shall we say Laid back at the best of times.. And is late for everything... So sometimes is late for work... Being a senior man.. Over 20+ years in he dont rush for shite!!! So one day a screw asks Jonski into the office to sign the late book.. So Jon puts in the reason for his being late. "DEAD DONKEY ON CENTRAL LINE UNDERGROUND." AND walks out.. He was pulled up about it and taking down the code of conduct for Not taking RM standards seriously.. Got off it as a joke but he told me he put that same reason for years!!! LOL!!!! Now i know Jon so thats a few 100 dead donkeys!!! LOL!!!!!


OUT

WE LUV YA JONSKI!!! UP THE SPURS!!!!

[Carnoustie]

Nice one L Tommo.

One of our female members of staff, who is a bit of a 'ladette', had too many shandies the night before and rolled in ten minutes late, just in front of me. Argument with the guvnor ensues, at which point she signs the late book and storms off.
'Oh for fecks sake' he says. 'Look what she wrote in the reason for late attendance column... "Having an affair"
Behind his back, I'm grinning. Well, it had to be done, didn't it ? On the next line of the book, I wrote "So am I"

His blood pressure went through the roof, the humourless tw_t

[IWW Fellow Worker]

Our DOM hadn't been seen about much for a few weeks. One morning someone asked his sub where he was. The reply was "He's not the DOM any more. He's the cluster manager now." The reply was "Bloody great! Tell him my piles are killing me and ask him if he has any advice."

[POSTMAN]

Manager said "good morning" to me once,i said "good morning" back.
That's it

[side_door]

We used to have this very mild mannered screw in our office (he's left RM now) and one morning he goes to one of the lads (who always cuts off) "this morning, I'd be grateful if you get it all done for me today".
"All right" says the Postie with only a tinge of sarcasm "I could take a row of 15 and possibly throw out some of 16 as well".
"Oh, you're joking" says the screw with evident relief.
"Yeah, well you started it" says the postie.

[FLORAAAAAA]

I work in a RDC...............(BALK MAIL) We don't have managers we have Zombies They don't do very much ............but they can walk up and down on most days ....... then they have a few days off with stress.......... came back to do more walking....... this sounds the perfect manager, but like most Zombies they have no brains ...............which makes our jobs at risk. TNT and DHL are taking our work from RDCs so we will be the first to go. I voted YES .........but I Feel we in the RDCs are forgotten

[robd]

Just for you Flora,
Was late one day,i'm actually never late,but the boss was in a bad mood.
"Where've you been"
"Sorry boss,i had a stone in my shoe"
"Why couldn't you remove it?"
"Well if i had,i wouldn't be here now!"
some days there just glad you turn up,i think

[jamwell]

i was on late's a few years back, the phone rang at 0430 and our manager asked if i could come in on O/T to cover a delivery. I said "no" the manager replied " ok sorry for getting you up" to which i said "its ok i had to get up some idiot was ringing me!" and put the phone down.......

and he saw the funny side of it as well.......... still he has left now

[TrueBlueTerrier]

deadasadodo said

and he saw the funny side of it as well.......... still he has left now

Thats the problem al the half decent ones are going and we get left with the dregs. If pinky and perky have their way Posties will be going the same way.

[billypants]

Not so much "banter" but we do have a little song for them all

Whenever the Fleetwood Mac song "little lies" comes on the radio it gets altered a little from "tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies" to ;

" TELL ME LIES, TELL ME MANAGEMENT LIES"

and the effect of 30ish postmen yelling this at the top of their voices is like happy hour at the lunatic asylum, but it amuses us.

[IWW Fellow Worker]

Not so much "banter" but we do have a little song for them all

Whenever the Fleetwood Mac song "little lies" comes on the radio it gets altered a little from "tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies" to ;

" TELL ME LIES, TELL ME MANAGEMENT LIES"

and the effect of 30ish postmen yelling this at the top of their voices is like happy hour at the lunatic asylum, but it amuses us.

I'm no lightweight, but we used to have this really fat, useless boss. He got nicked by the I.B for dipping into the petty cash. We used to sing "Sell me pies, sell me sweet little pies!" to the robbing get.

[deadbox]

Hardly ever come off my frame....don't have tea or fags breaks either.....The one time I speak to someone for more than a minute a manager ( complete tosser how has since "resigned" for his conduct ) came over ..."Stop chatting and get back to your frame" said he....
"WHY DON''T YOU JUST F**K OFF" said I........And he did....chunttered all the way back to his office.....